Frank of Sacramento has passed on

I am feeling a little depressed as I found out that a man that I knew has passed away. His name was Frank and I met him via my son Sean. Frank lived in Sacramento to the age of 94. When I met him, he was in his early nineties. He was strong and mentally bright. I admired his zest for like. He was disappointed that he was not utilized more for his intellect because of his age. He would say that people only saw him as an old man in his 90s. I got to speak to him while visiting Sean years ago. I referred to him as “Frank from Sacramento”. Today. I feel depressed because I would look to him as an example that there is life beyond my age. With his passage, I realize that my time is coming. I do not want to pass on. I know everyone will, but I feel like there is so much more for me. The prospect of dying scares me and the loss of Frank has made me depressed. I know I will get out of the depression. So, I will live life as much as I can.
I titled this blog,” Frank of Sacramento has passed on”. The meat of the blog is about how I admired Frank. A man in his 90s that was full of life. When I first met him, he bragged on himself that his wife was 30 years younger than him. In the title of the blog I use the term passed on. What does that mean?
It means to me that there are somewhere that we all go when we die. The problem is, I find it hard to believe that there is any place to go after you die. I do believe that there is a God and he creates life. And I believe that he did indeed create the universe and for me, a place to live on a planet I call Earth. I want to believe that people like Frank will leave the earth and will go to a different dimension and place. Whether there’s a heaven and hell doesn’t really matter. It’s the idea that something happens to you and takes your life and then your intellectual spirit moves on to another dimension.
Having worked in the police department and having witnessed autopsies, I find no way that my mind can wraparound the ideal of another dimension. Even just the science of it shows matters of all types can stop to exist. I suppose those who are in to organized religion would call me a pagan. It really doesn’t matter to me what you call me, it matters to me about what I believe.
That is why each time I read or watch the news about people dying I tried to block it out of my mind. But it is impossible to block it out of my mind when I know the person that has passed on. As a matter of reality, I was able to accept my mom and dad’s passing. I found it hard to accept my brother’s passing. And today I heard about Frank I found myself having a hard time to accept it. I know that death is real but it is nothing that I’m looking forward to. As I grow older I know that my time is coming. You don’t really seem any 400-year-old people walking on this earth. Even then, there’s a time limit to our time on this earth. It is kind of funny that I use the term time on this earth as if there is another place that I will go when I die.
I also know that my depression about this issue will be lifted. I will get over it and I will laugh and live life to the full is again. I do not know how to get a hold of Frank’s family to tell them how much he meant to me. He was more than just a man to me, he was the hope that I could live for many more years and still be functional and intact. I hope that there is some place that my spirit will go to. And I hope that I will have a conscience that will allow me to enjoy that experience.
Well with all that down talk, I think I’ll go outside and ride on my tractor and move some more dirt from one pile to another. That always seems to make me feel better.

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