As I walked out on the back porch this morning I went to look at the new dog house that I and my wife built. First, I wanted to make sure it was still standing and second, I wanted to see what it looked like with all the polyurethane being dry. The dog house has cedar wood siding. Even though the day started off overcast and is probably going to rain, I smiled as I looked at the new doghouse. I had mentioned in the blog I wrote yesterday about starting a new project for my dog named Murphy. It took me almost 5 days to complete the project. But there were parts of the project that turned out to be more fun than I thought. My wife would come out at different times and look at the progress of the doghouse. It didn’t take long before she wanted to help with the doghouse. But both she and I have been brought up by America’s greatest generation, where men worked on things outside the house and women worked on things inside the house. So with some hesitation my wife asked if she could help me build the doghouse. I thought it was great, I can always use help. She was there to help me when we talked about the design of the doghouse. So it was only fitting that she be part of building the doghouse. During one of the sessions where she was helping me, she was using a drill to put some screws into the doghouse. She has not done a lot of drill work and so it took a little bit of time before she knew how to handle the drill. I loved it. Sharing my passion for building things was being shared with the woman of my passion.
This got me to thinking of several times in our married life that we shared a passion. The first one I can think about is when we moved to Texas. I had a passion for fishing and I usually did it alone. It did not take long before my wife also enjoyed fishing. And so in the afternoon or evening hours we would walk out on the dock where the fishing boats were at. And we would sit there together, many times using a hotdog as bait, and fish for catfish. It was fun and a way for us to sit and visit with each other at the same time. I’ve always enjoyed the challenges of fishing, but it was so much more fun with my wife enjoying it with me.
My next memory is the day that my wife told me I needed a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. She had just come home from shopping, in her route home she went under the overpass of a freeway. During that time she heard a group of Harley-Davidson motorcycles driving underneath the freeway overpass too. So she came home and told me I needed a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. Upon hearing that from my wife we immediately marched down to the Harley-Davidson dealer and bought a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. I have always had a passion for riding motorcycles. Even while working for the Los Angeles Police Department I would drive to work on a motorcycle on the days where the weather was nice (the weather is almost always nice in LA). Now my wife was enjoying the ride with me. It didn’t take long before she wanted her own motorcycle. So we bought another Harley-Davidson and we rode together. Sharing that passion with my wife is something I’ll always remember. I know that I’ve heard from other men that one of the greatest things that ever happened to them is when their wives began to enjoy their passions (I’m not talking about in the bedroom). For many men who live in the city they have a passion for the game of golf. When the wives began to play golf their relationship with their wives greatly improved. And particularly those senior golfers really enjoy playing golf with their wives. I have to say the same thing about bowling. I started bowling in Indiana at the age of 12. It was a tradition that my family passed on to me. After moving to Texas my wife and I both joined a bowling league. We played on a team with her sister and brother-in-law. It was a great time and I really enjoyed sharing my passion of bowling with my wife.
Since we’ve moved to the country, the Sumner Tree Farm, I looked for new ways of getting my wife involved in some of my passions. One of things I really love is to move some dirt with my John Deere tractor. During the past week my wife decided to get up and drive the tractor. I smiled from ear to ear as I watched her work with me as she drove the tractor. So during this last week I watched my wife use an electric drill to build a doghouse, drive the tractor and visit me in my shop. I love working in my shop and I also enjoy just sitting down and drinking a beer at the end of the day. Recently she has joined me at the end of the day and sit down inside the shop and drink a beer. I really look forward to her joining me in the shop.
So the thought of today is that you need to get your wife involved in your other passions. Of course the first passion is for her. I think that couples who can enjoy the same activities and the same goals live a happier and longer life. Sometimes this is hard for men to open up their other passions. We get a little overprotective and even a little jealous when somebody else gets involved in our passions. But the payoff of getting your wife involved and the two of you sharing the action is more than just fulfilling. It’s empowering and makes you want to do more and enjoy more. So get you wife involved.